Posted by: amairgin | 15/11/2018

Why me?

Maybe you don’t know who I am, I think that actually no one does, but I don’t care at all.

Maybe I am a ghost or maybe I am a person that is just sitting next to you. Since I was a child I haven’t been noticed by anyone but now things are going to be different, because I have changed, a lot.

My name is Clara and a year ago I tried to commit suicide, but there was a person that saved me in the last moment. That person changed my life and now I’m living with him in a small house in the countryside.

Now you are thinking: Why did you try to commit suicide? Who was the guy that saved you?

I will answer those questions, don’t worry, but I think that it’s better if we start from the begining, in Winstong High School one year ago when I was asking myself: Why me? Why do I have to be here when the people in this place make me suffer? And most importantly, who was the guy sitting next to me?

I didn’t know the answers to these questions, but I was determinated to find them, even if I ended suffering more.

At Winstong High School, my school, I was not happy. The students in my class, were bad with me, because I am different. In physical education lessons, I was on my own, and I never talked to my schoolmates or my teachers. I was alone. I didn’t talk to my parents or my brother.

One day, I thought: “I do not like living in this world”. “This world is not for me”.

A day like any other, I didn’t go to the school. I went to the beach, and I went into the sea. I tried to commit suicide. When I was in the sea, he showed up in the beach. He is my rescuer…

He’s my help and I now live in his house. He works in a bank and I work in a clothing shop. We have got a dog and two cats. Do I deserve this life? I wonder. His name is Diamond and I think I do not deserve it. We lives in Los Angeles by the beach and we are right now 18 years old.

So, now the question is: How did my life finish like that? I have been thinking that for many years, the truth is that actually I do not find an answer, but I have a vague idea of this.

As I said, I tried to commit suicide a few months ago, I am not sure exactly when, I think I was sixteen. And why I tried that? I do not know, I tried to convince myself that it was because I was suffering in my old life or maybe because I felt alone, but the truth is more complex. I am not saying that people treat me fine, they were bad with me, but in the deeper part of myself I know that I tried to commit suicide for another reason.

Everyday, I wonder which this reason was. Diamond has helped me so much in this aspect, he is a good person, too much. Sometimes I think that I do not deserve him but other times I think that he is not so good, and this makes me a mistrustful person.

I think Diamond is not a good person because he could not know that I had gone to the beach to commit suicide unless he followed me. I did not questioned him about this because I think that he will not answer me and we will be angry.

Also, I do not like his behaviour since the moment he received a strange call. I do not know who he talked to, but he started to shout at me when we talked.

I do not really want to be here with him, I want to go back with my parents who are living in Miami. For this reason, I have come to the airport and bought a plane ticket.

I was ready to go on the plane, but in that moment I heard a familiar voice:

  • Clara! Wait! Please!..

It was Diamond. He was there…

  • Diamond? What are you doing here?- I asked
  • You were going to go with your parents… You were going to leave me, alone…
  • It is not that, is just th-
  • No! You can’t go with your parents! He interrupted me.
  • And why not? They are missing me…
  • Beacouse they think that you are DEAD!, do you think that they are waiting for you? C’mmon girl, don’t make me laugh!
  • Are you stupid? What made you think that?
  • Don’t care about that! Just don’t go.
  • Why do I have to stay with a boy that I just have known for a year?
  • Because this boy saved you of doing something too stupid!- He screamed. And everyone there was looking at us
  • You have no idea of why I did that…
  • But I- He was interrumpted by a voice…

“Passengers with destanation to Miami, please proceed to gate 34 B, last call for the passengers with destination to Miami, please proceed to gate 34 B” 

  • That’s my flight, I have to go…
  • No, please, Clara, we can talk about this, Clara… -He tried to take my hand but I was faster and I moved my hand to the other side
  • Bye Diamond, thanks for “saving my life”, but I didn’t want it to happen. And thank you for staying with me…

I walked through the gate on to the plane, and looked back and I saw him, so sad, but with a nostalgic smile. I smiled to him too. It was the last time that I would see him. Well, that was what I thought…

I gave my boarding card to the flight attendant and I got on the plane. Mom, Dad, here I go…

After two hours of flight I arrived home. I took a taxi with the biggest smile on my face and went to my parents house but I found the house with no one inside it.

“What the hell? Where are my parents?” I thought.

Suddenly I found myself walking all over the neighbourhood and asking all the neighbours if they knew where my parents where and, when I stopped in the last little house, I remembered  something.

This had been a few months ago in Winstong High School, actually, it was the day when I tried to commit suicide. The principal had called me and asked me to go to his office.

  • Hi Mr. Winstong. How can I help you? – I asked.
  • Hi Clara, please sit down. I have something important to tell you.
  • Okay…- I don’t know why, but I remember feeling quite scared.
  • Well Clara, first of all, I am sorry for your loss.- He said with a nostalgic face.
  • Mr. Winstong, you are starting to scare me…
  • Clara, yesterday your parents died in a tragic accident while they were driving.
  • WHAT?

That day I cried and cried and them I decided to go to the beach where I tried to commit suicide. During this intense moment I collapsed and I fainted before having the chance of trying anything.

Now I am crying again, surprised by the fact that I have totally forgotten about what had happened that day. But wait… that means that Diamond didn’t save my life! He just found me lying in the middle of the beach!

When I finished crying I went to the police and I reported Diamond. It turned out that he had done this a few times before.

I decided to stay and live in Miami, where I found the person that truly saved my life. His name is Troy and today I am going to marry him and become one of the happiest people in this world.

I hope that you enjoyed my story and that you never experience that feeling; the feeling that makes you want to disappear and never come back again, the feeling that will make you think “Why me?”.

The End


Responses

  1. I like your story because is interesting and long

  2. I really like your story, because I also love tragic stories and I think it would be interesanting to read.

  3. I like this story because it is original and interesting.

  4. I like your story. It´s original an interesting. It´s very long, too.

  5. I like the story because it is very original,interesting and very long. Fantastic.

  6. It’s a good story to continue because, we can make a very long story


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